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October 22 2017



I’ve said it before, but I’m saying it again. Apologize to your children when you are in the wrong. The minuscule hit to your pride is nothing compared to the impact you will have on your children. You are not an all powerful supreme being. You are human. You’ll make mistakes occasionally, and you’ll have to apologize for them. It’s ok to own that. You’ll be teaching them how to register wrong doing, how to correctly apologize for it, that admitting fault is an ok and necessary life skill to have. Most importantly, you’re showing them that they can trust you to do the right thing. 

I will preach this to my dying breath. Apologize to your kids when you’re in the wrong. 

This goes for teachers as well

October 21 2017

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Haley Perea, a student at California Baptist University, is seen hurling her drink on the two men and saying: “Excuse me, this is for the national anthem you pieces of shit.”

Her classmate Savannah Sugg recorded the clip and uploaded it to Twitter the caption: “‘Take a kneel for the land of the slaves.’ Disrespect our flag and our country and that’s how we’ll react.”

Since they posted their video, it has also emerged that Perea has repeatedly tweeted the n-word:

There are a lot of people online currently calling for CBU to respond to what Perea and Sugg did, with some comparing to it discrimination from the Jim Crow era.

It’s getting worse and worse by the week.

These people actually took video of what they did and proudly uploaded it to Twitter. They think people peacefully protesting should be confronted with violence… These two gotta be charged with assault.

I wonder how blind people are when they try to claim we don’t have racism in America.

October 20 2017

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Confession: I used to belong to trump culture.

Not entirely willingly, mind. I was young, religious, and I made the naïve mistake in thinking that all Christians were like the ones I had encountered at my home church: warm, tolerant, kind. I fell in love, and we did what young, hormonal Christian teenagers did: rushed into a marriage.

I realized my mistake almost immediately, but it took far too long to get out.

Personally, I endured abuse at the hands of my new husband—mental, physical, sexual, economic, emotional. You name it, he did it. Brutal is an understatement. He systematically broke me down until I was a shell of a human being. I’m still dealing with the emotional fallout and physical side effects, and I probably will be for another decade at least.

That’s personally, but let’s talk his family. Because he was an extreme case, yes, but he was raised with the idea that women existed to keep their mouths shut and their legs open. I spit out two children faster than I could whip my head, because birth control wasn’t part of god’s grand plan for my life. I was fulfilling my purpose as a mother, and wasn’t that great? My husband didn’t want the first baby. He wanted me for himself, see? Abortion was unthinkable, but he fully expected to carry a baby—my baby—to term, then give it away.

Keeping him was my first rebellion. Keeping the next one was my second.

In the time I belonged to that family, I watched my mother-in-law endure the same, though less extreme mistreatment. I watched every young female family member be groped by the family patriarch. “That’s just how it is.” I was shamed for making a fuss about it. I watched an older cousin try to sexually assault my teenage sister-in-law and she was the one who felt ashamed. We women made family dinners while the men sat on their asses. My husband and I lived with his parents for a short time. She and I would go to work each morning—an hour each way—with our husbands sitting in their robes in the living room, playing video games. When we returned hours later, weary, exhausted, they hadn’t moved. The standard greeting? “What’s for dinner.”

That’s his family, and yes, some families are sexist, but let’s talk about church. That’s where all of this is validated, encouraged, taught. Imagine my shock, when I went to my new husbands’ family church and encountered muted xenophobia and racism, a heavy dose of homophobia, and some damned overt sexism (see above.)

Equal roles, but different. Sound familiar? This is still being taught to little girls today.

In church, I listened with quiet disgust as pastors preached about how awful my sister—one of the gays—was. I piped up and asked how that sexual sin was any different than the two young church kids who’d just been caught “in a bad way”, soon to expect their first baby. Sexual sin is sexual sin, isn’t it? I sure did get an earful for that one. We did church boycotts: Disney, Target. Every Sunday School class: Job, cookies, and lets pray God saves the moos-lims before they all come over and blow us up. We revered people with white savior complexes who went to be jesus’s hands and feet and save the poor, helpless Africans.

Hate and ignorance, wrapped up in the holy Scripture. Hallelujah.

Meanwhile, I endured this abuse. This abuse, and every door slammed in my face as my husband hit me, tortured me. “Stay true to your vows,” the pastor would say. “You have communication issues,” our sister-in-law would tell us. My mother-in-law: “Linds, you just have to accept it. Love is a choice.”

“But what about the part where it says that husbands are to love their wives like Christ loves the church?” I asked.

My brother in law, joking: “This is why women aren’t supposed to speak in church.”

This America is alive and kicking, kids. It’s never gone away; it’s just been lurking, behind closed doors. “Pass the casual racism and meat loaf, would you? And get me a glass of water while you’re up. Ketchup, too.” What I’m scared about, truly, is that I know this. And these ideas are now validated. Now mainstream. Almost 50% of our population believes this is a good idea.

“It’s our time to take America back.”

What in the hell, if they’ve been saying these things behind closed doors, and if they believe them In The Name Of God—what in the hell are they going to say in the open, now? What in the hell are they going to do?

The 50s are revered as the aspirational yester-year, days gone by. Progress, as we call it, is godlessness to them. We, the godless libs, took Jesus out of schools. We’ve gone wrong ever since.

This is the America people want back, and that’s my first fear.

The second is this:

I got out. And I’m terrified that this, my success story, won’t happen anymore.

I’m the rare statistic. I un-brainwashed and educated myself. I got counseling (against every Christian advice) to treat severe post-partum depression. In the process of becoming a healthier person, I realized what a goddamn mess I was.

It took three tries and a pastor-pseudo-therapist legitimately telling me, “You know if he hits you again, Linds, I’m going to have to tell you to leave.” 

All regretful, like it was bad news.

“Why should I stick around and wait for it to happen again?” I asked.

He didn’t have an answer. I left the next week.

It took a few boldfaced lies (it’s temporary, it’s just a separation), and a few miracles, and a large support system of family and friends who all but plucked me out of that hell.

For leaving? My price was excommunication. From his family, our friends, our church. I am the heathen who Divorced my Husband and broke our home. In that entire city, only three people talk to me now.

(No loss, but it took a long time to recognize that.)

I never, ever would have made it on my own. I had two small children, a new job that barely paid a living wage, and I was, as I’ve said, a shell of a human being. I left him and went straight to the human services office. Without subsidized childcare, healthcare, and food supplements, we would have starved or been homeless. It never would have been possible.

These are the services that will probably be cut first.

How will anyone in my situation ever be able to leave? They won’t. Not to mention federal funding for shelters, crisis counseling for families, healthcare for abused women, and legal services for domestic violence victims. Throw in a court system that doesn’t value women, and a cultural mentality that believes what happens behind closed doors should stay behind closed doors… What hope do abused, trapped women have? None in hell.

If this is what makes America great again, I want out. I’ve been there, done that, and I’m never, ever doing it again.

You’ll take it back over my cold, lifeless body.

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The reason why it’s important to understand score that Puerto Rican’s are Americans is because the United States has a financial obligation to help its citizens with relief and rebuilding efforts but whenever natural disaster strikes people of color, all help is minimized or thrown out all together. Ahhh.. the USA back at it with its white supremacy and its human rights violations!

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For arguments sake, let’s say that humans turn vegan. What happens after. What happens to all the animals who have been bred specifically for human consumption and can no longer survive with out us. Where would we put them, what would we do with them. What would happen to the econamy and all the businesses that industries that use animal based products- every part of our lives would be affected. Textiles, food, Fashion, music etc, they would all change. Things we don’t realize use animal parts for would change drasticly.

What I’m trying to convey is that all your arguments for vegan, and against animal cruelty in the animal agriculture industry are all well and good, but what happens after?

The world isn’t going to go vegan overnight - when have “humans” ever made any major decisions at the same time? This ain’t Star Trek now. But like you said, for the sake of the argument, let’s say it did - the best case scenario is we turn farms into sanctuaries and let them live out their lives. For most of them that wouldn’t be more than 10 years. Worst case scenario we set them free to fend for themselves and wreck havoc in nature, or we kill them all. Can’t imagine any non-vegan complaining about that being too cruel when you are currently participating in that very thing. I think you can agree that it doesn’t make much sense to continue breeding and killing them because we’re not sure what else to do with them.

And yes, everything would have to change for us. Duh. I think most things for the better. But even if they all changed for the worse, are we really in a position to make any sort of demands? Humanity going vegan would mean we’d have lost a war. We would be giving up our presumed right to consider and treat another living being as property when we have done so for about as long as we can remember. Might be hard, but I don’t think history will give a shit. 

Strangely, thinking about this made me remember a poem I haven’t read since high school.

From an evening cloud (the last
messenger, that is still announcing a light to Europe!)
there’s blood pouring into my tired heart,
oh dear, and there is no water in Europe anymore
and we people are drinking blood,
fresh blood from the sweet evening clouds.
- Everything is ecstasy, ecstasy of death. -

Barely born, and you are already burning in the fire of the evening,
every sea is red, every sea is full of blood,
every lake, and there’s no water;
no water to wash that man’s fault, 
to wash his heart,
there is no water to extinguish his thirst
for quiet, green morning nature.

And everything is evening and there will be no morning,
until we die, we who all carry
the guilt of dying, until we all die…

- Srečko Kosovel

Boy, that was dark! It’s actually about the death of Europe. I’m not trying to imply we’re planning on murdering all of you or anything like that. That is definitely not option B. 

sexual assault is NOT a women’s issue.

with #metoo, people around the world once again try to open up the eyes of a majority that has not been willing to take them seriously for decades and decades. the fact that thousands of people, in 2017, have to open up about their most hurtful experiences to raise a minimum of awareness to an issue that has been present to them their whole life is insane to me. we’ve been telling you this before. for decades. the fact that there seems to be a need to be traumatized first in order to be heard when speaking up about sexual assault is insane to me. the fact that there are men out there who will be surprised by how common sexual assault is, even though we’ve been telling them over and over again is insane to me. the fact that once again, it seems to be women’s job to fix this, to carry the burden and to change men’s perception for good, is insane to me.

it’s good that we have the #metoo movement. it’s sick that we need it.

men? it’s your fucking turn now.

— (via noturgrrrl)
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Advances in medicine only help if people have access to them.

There’s an HIV epidemic in Saskatchewan and part of the cause is people not being able to afford or access retrovirals.

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Someone buy this man a beer

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I don’t ever wanna hear a trump supporter say that kneeling during the national anthem is “disrespecting our troops” ever again. 

YOUR president just told a pregnant widow of a fallen soldier that her loved one “knew what he signed up for”. this is honestly the worst it can get as far as “disrespecting our troops”……… this is fucking repulsive. 

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a resource

This resource from the 11th Principle seems to be really helpful to a lot of people, so just sharing again with a link to the originators.

October 19 2017



Why I can’t go vegan

Ok so I had a friend try to argue with me over my diet. Particularly the fish and poultry bit. After trying to explain for a while why veganism would be unhealthy for me they stormed off. Here’s why veganism isn’t for everyone.

  1. Soy allergies exist - most of the meat alternatives include soy to some degree and allergies to soy are uncomfortable and result in a loss of nutritional value
  2. Expenses - vegan diets are expensive to maintain so people with restrictive budgets often include animal products in their meals
  3. Nutrition - vegans already need to supplement their diet with extra b12 and nutritional yeast. People with these vitamin deficiencies can’t afford to pass up natural sources of these nutrients and proteins. Most nutritionists recommend mixed diets to solve this problem.
  4. People can also be allergic to nutritional yeast, nuts, etc. and be unable to use them as a source of protein.
  5. Sometimes veganism doesn’t mix well with chronic illness. This can be because of medical expenses or side effects of medications. Some medications don’t come in a vegan form either so there’s that to consider as well.

All of these things apply to me and I was very disappointed when multiple doctors and nutritionists told me that going vegan just wasn’t healthy for me. So the next time you get mad at someone for eating animal products keep in mind that you may be acting like a douche.

My doctor told me not to raise my future children vegan because no vegan baby has ever survived. So maybe don’t rely 100% on doctors when it comes to veganism and nutrition in general.

All of those things make it more difficult but not impossible. Not going to argue, do what you want, but know there are a lot of vegans dealing with those issues that will be happy to help you whenever.


centrists: i don’t believe in genocide, but i’ll defend to the death your right to organize, recruit, distribute propaganda, and make clear statements saying that you are about to commit genocide. i don’t believe in it though and i don’t understand how it happens

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today on ‘reasons i love john boyega’

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October 18 2017

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Vegan culture is explaining to people on the internet for the 584th time that a typical omnivorous diet requires more plant matter to sustain it than a vegan one does. 

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